Show: Monday Night Raw
Date: January 13th 2014
Author: Cade Carnage
Welcome my War Gods the Mind of Carnage!
Tonight is Monday Night Raw, one more week closer to the Royal Rumble and to the launch of the WWE Network.. That’s right, WWE has their own network now.. Well, more like an app really. For a cheap $9.99 a month you can get all the past library of every PPV, ever show, and even with that monthly charge, you also get the next 12 PPV’s included in their to stream live.. I hate paying for things but this will challenge by hatred..
The Show starts off quickly with our first match.. So let’s shut this introduction about the WWE Network and Rock This Joint!
Daniel Bryan & Bray Wyatt vs. The Usos
The match starts with Daniel and Jay Uso exchanging a few blows back and forth. Daniel runs the ropes and lands a knee to the gut taking Jay in the Wyatt’s corner. He stomps on his chest and tags in Bray. He comes into the match and stomps away on Jay’s chest and delivers a few elbows to his head. He tags in Bryan who hangs Jay in the middle of the ropes and delivers a few kicks to his back. He rolls Jay onto the apron and lands a running knee to Jays head taking Bryan to the outside. He climbs back in and tags in Bray. He lands his body directly on Jay’s chest and connects punches against his forehead. He takes Jay into the corner and runs the ropes landing a running body splash against Jay Uso. Bray taunts the crowd, tags in Bryan, and locks in a choke hold on Jay until the ref counts to 4. Bryan comes in and delivers multiple kicks to his head and locks in a neck lock as the crowd in the background chants “Daniel Bryan, Daniel Bryan!” He connects a kick to Jays mid back and locks in another choke hold grounding the action. Jay fights back to his feet and delivers a side head kick to Daniel Bryan. Jay jumps to his corner and tags in Jimmy. He comes in with the momentum and flips Bryan on his back and lands his running hip attack to Bryans head. He pins but only gets a 2 count. Bray tries to interfere but Jimmy tosses him to the outside. Bryan runs for him but he too gets thrown to the outside. Jay comes back in and Jimmy and he deliver their double body springboards to Bray and Bryan. They roll them back into the ring and both try for their top rope body splash. Erick and Luke interfere and punch the Uso’s back to the mat as the bell rings.
Winners: The Usos by DQ
Erick and Luke continue beating down on Jimmy until he counters and ducks Erick’s big boot, Luke’s close line, and connects a side kick to Bryan allowing him to roll out of the ring unharmed. The Wyatt’s by this point are fuming at the loss and Bray, Erick, and Luke stand by Bryan as he makes his way to his feet. The crowd go crazy chanting YES YES YES as Bryan faces Bray. Bray mumbles something into his ear, Bryan goes to his knees and Bray connects his Sister Abigail to Bryan. The Wyatt’s walk up the ramp holding Daniel Bryan in their arms.
Announcers: John Cena in action Next!
Before the match the announcers recap a match Damien and Cena had when Damien cashed in his Money in the Bank briefcase only to lose the match last October.
Damien Sandow vs. John Cena
Michael Cole is so happy that this will be Cena’s first match in 2014 that he feels the need to yell it on his headset.. We get it your excited.
The bell rings and both head into a clinch. Damien gets in the side headlock starting off this match and allowing the audience to do the normal “Let’s go Cena, Cena Sucks” chants. Cena fights out and connects an arm drag into an arm lock keeping Damien on the mat. He manages to get back to his feet where Damien tries for his own arm drag, but Cena counters into a hip toss for a 2 count. Both competitors get to their feet starring each other down. To clinch up again but Damien gets the upper hand when he takes Cena into the corner and stomps away on Cena’s chest and begins choking him. The ref pulls Damien off of Cena as he reaches to 5 and here is where we cut to commercials.
We return to Damien Sandow continuing his control over Cena, just stomping away on him and connecting a few punches. He tries for a knee drop but Cena rolls out of the way, runs the ropes and connects his signature shoulder tackles and back drop. He taunts the five knuckle shuffle and connects his fist drop. Cena tries for the AA but Damien counters into reverse DDT and gets a 2 count. Cena begins his momentum boost but Damien connects a kick right to Cena’s knee and locks in a leg lock. Cena manages to roll back and break the hold. He connects a backdrop/neck breaker for a 2 count. He goes to the top rope, where Damien meets him and stops him from going further. Cena fights back and connects a spinning hurricane-rana DDT for another 2 count. Cena is surprised that he hasn’t beaten him yet. He tries for the AA, but Damien counters and connects a swinging neck breaker for the 2 count. He goes for the Your Welcome but Cena counters and connects his STF. Sandow reaches for the ropes and grabs it as the crowd cheers. Sandow comes back up ad locks in the cross face. Super Cena powers up and lifts Damien off the ground, onto his shoulders and connects the AA for the 1..2..3!
Winner: John Cena
Announcers: Showing us a 6 man tag match for later where it’s a rematch of Smackdown main event; The New Age Outlaws & CM Punk vs. the Shield. Seriously is there a point of watching Smackdown anymore if they’re just going to repeat the same matches.
Video: The WWE Network Promo. See video below.
When we come back from the Promo the announcers recap all the things we just saw on that video. Apparently we don’t have eyes or ears…
Backstage: Kane is in his office with his mask on a podium. He reviews some pieces of paper as Brad comes in telling Kane that it’s a good start to Raw, where the Wyatt’s are running wild. Kane tells him to enforce the rules and do something. Brad makes a rematch where it will be The Usos, vs Bray Wyatt & Daniel Bryan in a steel cage. Kane likes the idea but changes it saying that the door will be chained shut and that he will have the only key.
Jack Swagger vs. The Big Show
Zeb and Cesaro come out with Swagger for support.
The bell rings and Swagger goes for the attack. Big Show pushes him off and counters an Olympic take down by Swagger. He takes him into the corner and delivers his chest slap. Swagger tries to fights back but ends up connecting right into Big Shows shoulder. Big Show runs the ropes and lands head first into Swagger. Big Show taunts his choke slam and connects allowing him to get the 1..2..3!
Winner: Big Show
After the match Cesaro tries to sneak up from behind but Big Show catches him and runs after him. Cesaro runs and goes into the crowd. Big Show then looks towards the ring to Zeb Colter who is trying to get Swagger up. Big Show climbs back in and stand behind him. Zeb turns around slowly as Big Show looks down towards him. He grabs his shirt and holds him like that until Cesaro runs back in. Big Show see’s him and close lines Cesaro out of the ring. He grabs Zeb again but this time from the bum, Sexual Harassment!! He grabs his shirt with his huge hand and knocks out Zeb with the WMD.
Announcers: CM Punk & New Age Outlaws vs. The Shield is up next.
Video: Batista’s Return
New Age Outlaws & CM Punk vs. The Shield
Dean and Billy Gunn start things off as the bell rings. They both clinch up but it’s Billy who locks in a side head lock and connects a shoulder to Dean Ambrose. Dean runs to the corner where he counters Billy and lands his own punches to his head. He grabs Billy and pulls him towards the Shields corner where Seth tags in. He comes in connecting multiple kicks until Billy counters with a punch. He takes Seth into the corner but Seth connects a big boot and runs the ropes. Billy connects his signature side body breaker and tags in Road Dogg. Who fumbles and allows Seth to get the upper hand. He tags in Ambrose who chokes Road Dogg and tries for a suplex. Road Dogg counters and locks in a choke hold grounding the action. He connects his signature knee drop and locks in another choke hold. Dean makes his way to his feet but Road Dogg tags in CM Punk. Dean runs back to his corner pumping himself up for CM Punk. He goes after Punk but he keeps the upper hand punching Dean into a few corners and trying for the GTS. Dean jumps off and tags in Seth. CM Punk tries for the GTS quickly but he also jumps off and tags in Roman who gets a good ovation. Both Punk and Reigns stare at each other face-to-face until Punk lands the first punch. Both go fist to fist until Punk runs the ropes, but Roman connects a close line stopping the action. Punk rolls to the ropes and gets to his feet. Roman runs for him but Punk counters taking Roman to the outside. Punk connects his suicide dive and we cut to commercials.
We return to Punk taking Seth to the mat with a hard shoulder. He runs the ropes again and connects his rolling neck breaker to Seth Rollins for a 2 count. Punk tries for a punch, but Seth drops Punk onto the ropes. Roman tags in and delivers a drop kick to Punks head from the outside to the apron. Punk gets rolled back in for a 2 count. Dean Ambrose gets tagged in and chokes and wears Punk down for a 2 count. He tags in Seth who drags his forearm against Punks head and delivers a running body splash from the opposite corner. Seth brings Punk back to the Shields corner where Dean tags in. He connects a running close line for a 2 count. He spreads Punks legs and begins stomping his mid section. Punk continues to hold his head after the dropkick by Roman Reigns which allows Dean to focus on his face dragging his forearm against his eyes. Punk reaches for his corner but Dean picks him up and throws him to the outside. Dean follows Punk to the outside and tries to Irish whip him in the steel steps. Punk counters and throws Dean into them instead. Punk gets back into the ring, and Roman Reigns lifts Dean up and slides him back into the ring right into Seth for a tag. Punk counters Seth who tags in Roman Reigns. Roman stops the tag and taunts DX by doing the signature SUCK IT taunt. As he turns Punk connects a side head kick taking Roman down. He reaches for the New Age Outlaws and almost gets to them until at the last second Billy and Road Dogg jump off the apron and walk up the ramp. Punk realizing he is now alone against the Shield turns slowly and attacks Dean, goes after Seth and turns right into the spear by Roman Reigns for the 1..2..3!
Winners: The Shield
After the match the Shield appear to walk away but decide to come back in and deliver a triple power bomb to CM Punk.
Backstage: The Wyatt’s have a backstage promo where Bray tells Bryan that no one should be locked in a cage with them. That they are already in a cage, society is a cage and that tonight they find redemption, they find absolution, Run!
The Funkadactyls vs. AJ Lee & Tamina Snuka
Ok, here is my breaker match.. Sorry my War Gods, I just can’t take the Diva division anymore. I need a break from this horrible wrestling.. Don’t get me wrong, some are good, a majority are bad..
- Tamina overpowers Cameron
- Cameron connects a horrible dropkick
- Tamina takes her coat off.. She is now serious
- Tamina locks in a bear hug with her meat hook arms
- AJ tags in smiling
- AJ connects a shining wizard to Cameron
- AJ gets the 1..2..3!
Winners: AJ Lee and Tamina Snuka
After the match Tamina attacks Cameron but Naomi comes in to assist connecting a kick to the head to Tamina and connecting her huge ass against AJ’s face.
Backstage: Randy Orton is shows walking around backstage pissed and yelling for the Authority. He will give them a piece of his mind..
Announcers: We get the first 2014 inductee into the WWE Hall Of Fame Next.
Backstage: Orton confronts Kane that he knows where the Authority is. Kane asks “what’s wrong” and this is where Orton goes off saying that he has a un-necessary rematch with Cena, and that Lesner is coming after him “That’s nice. “ He needs protection. Kane tells him that he needs some release of this anger. He makes a match where Orton can vent; Orton vs. Kofi Kingston.
1st Hall of Fame Inductee: Ultimate Warrior is the first inductee to the WWE HOF!
Interview: Renee young interviews Heyman and asks him his opinions on last week’s altercation between Big Show and Lesner and how will his client fair at Royal Rumble. Heyman begins by insulting Renee and that she may by pretty but not smart. He claims that his client Brock Lesner lives by Eat, Sleep, Conquer, Repeat and nothing more. He believes that Big Shows size and his DNA defects are causing him to become stupid! Heyman or Lesner are not intimidated, nor are they impressed. He is the self proclaimed number on contender and nothing scares him.
Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
The bell rings and Orton goes directly for the gut delivering a hard kick. He throws Kingston to the outside and delivers a hard European uppercut taking Kofi to the mat. He throws Kofi into the barricade and delivered a close line on the outside. He throws Kofi back into the ring where he gets a 2 count. He takes Kofi into the corner and punches him down to the mat. Kofi begins fighting back connecting kick after kick and tries to take Orton to the opposite corner but Orton counters and connects his own close line for a 2 count. Orton walks around Kofi beginning his stomps. He brings Kofi to his feet and suplex’s him on the top rope. The bounce takes Kofi to the outside slamming his head against the apron. Orton follows and decides to slam Kofi’s head against the announcers table. Kofi counters and decides to slam Orton’s head not once, not twice, but three times against the announcers table. Orton rolls into the ring making Kofi chase after him. Kofi gets close and Orton kicks his feet taking Kofi into the turnbuckle. Orton lifts Kofi onto the top rope and connects a large superplex and yells at Kofi “Kick out of that, Kick out of that!” Orton covers and gets a 2 count. Randy sits beside Kofi looking annoyed. He gets up and once again begins his body stomps on Kofi Kingston and lands his jumping knee for another 2 count. He stands above Kofi and taunts to the crowd. He goes for a punch but Kofi counters delivering his own punches and close lines Orton to the outside of the ring. He runs the ropes but fakes his attempt. Kofi goes for a sliding dropkick but Orton kicks him and tries to throw him into the steps. Kofi counters and connects Orton’s head into the steps; he climbs the apron and connects a jumping close line. He rolls back into the ring as the ref counts, we cut to commercials.
We return to Orton delivering a back drop onto the side of the barricade. Orton finally slams Kofi’s head against the announcers table yelling “How do you like that?” He rolls Kofi back into the ring and pins for a 2 count. Orton locks in a choke hold allowing Kofi to gain momentum and fight out. Kofi connects a back drop stopping Orton and giving him some breathing time. Both struggle to their feet but Kofi is the one who gets in a few punches and makes Orton run the ropes. Kofi goes for a kick but Orton grabs the ropes and manages to throw Kofi to the outside. Orton follows him and slams Kofi into both steel steps at ringside. He rolls Kofi back into the ring, and slithers slowly towards him. He stands above him glaring and stomps directly onto Kofi’s head. He brings Kofi back to the middle of the ring and pins for the 2 count. Orton argues with the ref and locks in a choke hold wearing Kofi down. The crowd gets behind Kofi allowing him to stand back up. But Orton stops that immediately taking Kofi to the opposite corner. Kofi counters Orton’s advancement and begins building momentum. He goes for a dropkick but Orton pushes him aside taking Kofi right into the mat. Orton grabs Kofi’s hair and punches his face. Orton slaps his own chest and points in the air and lifts Kofi up to go for the RKO, but Kofi rolls into a backslide for the 2 count. Both get back to their feet and Orton lands a hard European uppercut grounding Kofi once again. Orton locks in another choke hold slowing the action for a bit. Kofi once again gets back to his feet; and connects his dropkicks and tries to connect his boom drop. Orton counters by rolling out and tries for his hanging DDT. Kofi counters out of it and delivers his SOS for the 1..2..3!
Winner: Kofi Kingston
What a huge win for Kofi, beating the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. Orton pissed off walks around ringside beating the ring and kicking the steel steps. He walks by the announcers yelling at Jerry “You Think This is Funny!?” He tears the announcers table apart and continues yelling “Shut Up!” towards the audience. Orton walks past John Cena’s dad who was at ringside and decides to attack him throwing a few punches towards him. Cena runs out after Orton, but Orton runs around the ring allowing Cena to attend to his dad. Orton makes his way up the ramp smiling.
We return from commercials seeing John Cena’s dad being rolled out on a gurney with Cena following right behind him. A video is shown of the attack that just happened. We get re-directed to Cena’s dad being loaded into the ambulance. Cena climbs in the back and gets taken to the hospital with his dad. I take it that Cena is now gone for the night.
The Brotherhood (Cody and Goldust) vs. Ryback and Curtis Axel
Curtis and Goldust start things off with Goldust taking Axel in an arm drag quickly. Axel takes advantage connecting a few punches. Axel tries to Irish whip Goldust off the ropes but he counters and Goldust connects his neck punch. Axel comes back and tags in Ryback. Ryback runs the ropes and connects a huge body splash to Goldust. Ryback tries for another body splash but Goldust side steps and tags In Cody who lands a few punches and a top rope moon-sault for the 2 count. Goldust tags in but gets a close line to the back of the head grounding him. Axel delivers a few forearms to the back of Goldusts neck and takes him to Ryback. Ryback tags in and both connect a body splash, close line combo. Goldust goes to the mat where Ryback locks in a choke hold. Goldust begins fighting out but Ryback catches him in a military press for a 2 count. He brings Goldust back into his corner where Axel tags in and Irish whips Goldust into the corner. Goldust counters and connects a second rope elbow. Curtis tags in Ryback who stops the tag attempts by Goldust but still gets countered with a big boot. Goldust manages to get Cody Rhodes tagged in and he goes into overdrive. Taking Curtis and Axel out and delivering a disaster kick to Ryback. Axel goes for his finisher but Cody counters and connects his cross-Rhodes to get the 1..2..3!
Winners: The Rhodes Brothers.
Video: A new Batista Promo Video.
Rey Mysterio vs. Alberto Del Rio
The bell rings and Del Rio aggressively goes after Rey. Throwing a few punches to Rey’s head and stomping away on him. Del Rio pins for the 2 count and tries to throw Rey out of the ring. Rey counters and takes Del Rio out and jumps off the apron landing on Del Rio. He rolls him back into the ring where Rey connects a rolling hurricane-rana and a side head kick. Alberto takes advantage and attacks the arm of Rey Mysterio, bringing him down and stretching the arm behind Rey’s back. Mysterio fights back to his feet but gets a tilt-a-whirl back breaker connected to him for the 2 count. Del Rio takes Mysterio to the ropes and stretches his arm against them wearing it down even more. Del Rio plants Mysterio in the corner. He runs for a spear but Rey moves and Del Rio gets introduces to the steel ring post. Del Rio gets back to his feet and runs to Rey who’s in a opposite corner. Mysterio connects a hurricane-rana and his 619. He goes for the top rope move, but Del Rio pushes his feet off the ropes leaving Mysterio hangingo. Del Rio connects a side head kick and locks in his Cross-Arm Breaker where Rey Mysterio Taps Taps Taps…
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Alberto Del Rio takes the mic and tells Batista that this will happen to him if he shows up next week. He will be screaming in pain as he tears away at his arm. Del Rio will be the one who throws him out of the Royal Rumble and everyone will start talking about Del Rio and not Batista.
Announcers: Showing Superstars Tweets about the WWE Network. They show us a recap video of the WWE Network Announcement. You Can see it here.
Backstage: Kane’s talking on the phone when Punk comes in asking where the Authority is.. Kane says that their not there tonight. Punk tells him that Triple H doesn’t need to hide behind all these guys, The Shield, The New age Outlaws, or even his wife.. Kane stops him and tells Punk that he just found out that Punk will be in the Royal Rumble match for his chance to main event Wrestlemania. Punk says that he doesn’t have a problem with that, but does have a problem with Kane.
Announcers: Recap Orton’s attack on Cena’s dad and gives us his status, he may have a fractures orbital socket within his eye.
Bray and Daniel Bryan vs. The Usos (Steel Cage Match)
Kane comes out with a chain so he can lock the cage and be the one who will open the door for whoever he pleases.
This is a tornado style match where all competitors are in at the same time. The Wyatt’s begin the attack beating on both Uso’s until Bryan comes out on top against Jay. He helps Bray by attacking Jimmy which allows Bray to toss him against the steel cage. Bryan drags Jay’s head against the cage just as Bray kicks Jimmy’s head against it. Daniel Bryan hangs Jay against the ropes and dropkicks him into the steel cage directly. Bray slingshots Jimmy against the cage taking him out. Jay gets back to his feet and counters Bryans flap-jack and climbs the cage and as does Bryan going after him. Both sit on the top head butting each other. Bray comes up and grabs Jay’s hair pulling him back into the ring. Jimmy comes up from behind and takes Bray off the ropes and back onto the mat. He comes after Bryan and delivers a trip taking both back against the mat head first. We cut to commercials.
We return to Bray dragging Jimmy’s head against the steel. Bryan taking on Jay exchanging punches and kicks until Daniel gets the advantage and takes Jay to the corner. Jimmy fights with Bray in the opposite corner and deliver a top rope flip to pin Bray for the 2 count. Daniel Bryan interferes in the pin and takes out Jimmy against the cage. He goes after Jay again and hangs him upside down in the corner. He delivers a few chest kicks and a running dropkick to Jay’s face. Bryan begins climbing up to escape the cage, but the Uso’s come from behind and deliver a double top rope backdrop. Bray gets up and takes Jimmy and Jay into the steel cage. Bray takes out Jimmy and looks to hit Sister Abigail on Jay. Jimmy comes out of nowhere and sidekicks Bray right in the head. The Uso’s try and climb out but Erick and Luke on the outside try to block their path. Both Bryan and Bray reach each member of the Usos. Jay pushed Daniel off who hits the ropes tripping up Bray Wyatt and making him land on his family jewels. Jay and Jimmy land on the outside and are introduced to Erick and Luke. But The Uso’s take advantage and take them out. The Uso’s walk away victorious.
Winners: The Uso’s
In the ring Bray and Bryan stare at each other. Bray whispers something to Daniels ear and Daniel takes the position again to receive Sister Abigail. Bray gets him in it but Bryan rolls out just as Bray was going to hit it. At this point the audience is going crazy chanting YES YES YES. Bryan stares down Bray contemplating if he should attack. Bray gets on his knee yelling DO IT! Bray calls Bryan weak and turns his back and quickly turns and runs at Bryan in the Corner. Bryan counters and connects a few running corner dropkicks and multiple chest kicks to Bray as the audience goes crazy. He strips the one-piece suit off and drags Bray against the steel cage taking out Luke and Erick who were trying to climb in on the outside. Bryan stands in the corner and taunts the YES YES YES! He connects his running knee to Bray and climbs the cage to celebrate with the audience.
Maybe he didn’t like Abegail.
Monday Night Raw ends on a high point with Bryan getting the audience on his side once again. YES YES YES YES!
Cause Carnage, Watch Wrestling.